Sunshine! Warmth! Dandelions! So I decided I needed a crown.
Turns out I’m actually pretty boss at applying liquid eyeliner. It’s even on both sides and everything.
How I start cleaning my room is pretty much split 50/50 between “My room is a mess, I should work on that!” and “Fuck where is that fucking thing I want and can’t find?”
Hurray, I don’t feel nauseous anymore! Let’s see if it lasts til after I eat something today.
(I had a fever a week and a half ago and have been feeling one kind of ill or another since then.)
I realized this morning
that I’m often hard on myself for functioning at 85-95% of where I feel I’m “supposed” to be or what “normal” people are,
when actually if it weren’t for all the coping mechanisms I’ve created and inherited, and if I’d grown up in a less open, forgiving, radically self-loving & trusting environment, I’d only be getting done 40-70% of what I want to get done and probably feeling a lot less good about myself.
I’m still extremely uncomfortable with how productivity is defined and how much it is valued by our culture (over people’s well-being), and trying to recognize and combat those beliefs in myself and others, but in the meantime, I’m okay with using this as a bandaid when I need to.
I enter libraries the way one is probably supposed to enter a cathedral: with reverence, with awe, with regard for the sanctity and splendor of the world and its inhabitants; with a great sense of relief that there is something greater than myself, and a momentary surrender of the pettier concerns of my life.
ME TOO
ALL THE TIME
last semester i had a professor pull me aside after class to ask me if everything was okay
it was totally okay i just have a very sad face apparently
Ditto! According to one of the aides in the aikido class I used to take (who was German) the German language shapes the mouths of people who are speaking it from a very young age to curve downwards and make them look sad/angry when they are relaxed? I’m not sure if that’s true or total BS but I thought it was interesting.
