gratuitous me because I’m procrastinating on packing and my hair is great today
Turns out I’m actually pretty boss at applying liquid eyeliner. It’s even on both sides and everything.
Taking a break from writing for youngfabandpoly for a dragon puppet photo op.
How I start cleaning my room is pretty much split 50/50 between “My room is a mess, I should work on that!” and “Fuck where is that fucking thing I want and can’t find?”
Hurray, I don’t feel nauseous anymore! Let’s see if it lasts til after I eat something today.
(I had a fever a week and a half ago and have been feeling one kind of ill or another since then.)
that I’m often hard on myself for functioning at 85-95% of where I feel I’m “supposed” to be or what “normal” people are,
when actually if it weren’t for all the coping mechanisms I’ve created and inherited, and if I’d grown up in a less open, forgiving, radically self-loving & trusting environment, I’d only be getting done 40-70% of what I want to get done and probably feeling a lot less good about myself.
I’m still extremely uncomfortable with how productivity is defined and how much it is valued by our culture (over people’s well-being), and trying to recognize and combat those beliefs in myself and others, but in the meantime, I’m okay with using this as a bandaid when I need to.
I enter libraries the way one is probably supposed to enter a cathedral: with reverence, with awe, with regard for the sanctity and splendor of the world and its inhabitants; with a great sense of relief that there is something greater than myself, and a momentary surrender of the pettier concerns of my life.
ALL THE TIME
last semester i had a professor pull me aside after class to ask me if everything was okay
it was totally okay i just have a very sad face apparently
Ditto! According to one of the aides in the aikido class I used to take (who was German) the German language shapes the mouths of people who are speaking it from a very young age to curve downwards and make them look sad/angry when they are relaxed? I’m not sure if that’s true or total BS but I thought it was interesting.